Marriage is not just a word. It’s a silent commitment you make to each other. The rituals of the wedding might seem lofty as you don’t understand them, but they are as sacred as your love bond. The day of your wedding marks the beginning of a new chapter for both of you. Certain things do change after the marriage, but that’s because you both have decided to create a living together. So, here this the list of 10 things change instantly after getting married.
Changing priorities doesn’t mean you lose your sense of identity, who you are or what you care for, but it does change in the manner that now you both are “in this together”. You can’t think of situations as “I”, you have to make decisions as “we”. Your priority tells what you value the most in life, like if your partner is your topmost priority and you make sure they are okay, physically and emotionally too. If they are upset, you try to cheer them up; if sick, then you take care of them. Their life gets intermingled with yours, and you must accept and understand this. It’s not a – “my way or highway” sort of deal; it’s “forever together” from now!
Even though it’s a custom for women to change their surnames after marriage, lately people don’t like doing things just because it’s how it is done. People are opposing the patriarchal hierarchy that’s has been followed. So, change or no change, is a ball in your court; but when the matter goes to the court, be sure to have made your mind for the marriage certificate.
It’s strange, at-least in the arrange marriages -how you don’t know the guy, yet you find yourself waking up on the same bed as him. However, there are some benefits to it, the not – so – obvious one because Science says, “Sleeping next to someone you love improves your immunity and helps you sleep better”.
Now, domestic tasks don’t feel like a chore. You don’t wait for someone to come and help you figure things out. Now, you decide what to eat and from where. If you can cook, then who is going to take responsibility? Just like how “you both” are going to figure out all your other obligations.
There will be times that you both will fight like cats and dogs, but that’s just because of misunderstandings. Some times in a relationship, fights are necessary as they tell you a lot about your partner. Don’t take them seriously and try to talk it out or clear everything on the same day. Don’t drag it to the next day. Try to listen to your partner, know about their opinions, tell them what you want, what are your thoughts.
In the end, there’s always a happy ending.
Compromise and sacrifice are two critical things to consider while taking decisions together. You know why relationships work because there you compromise together and none of you is left feeling at a loss. If you want to see a movie together, but your husband is tired and wants to rest, so you compromise and cancel the plan; but you compromise for a day not for the week, month or lifetime. You plan to go to a movie the next day or other when you both could make it happen, and you do make it happen because that shows your commitment. Compromises have to be both ways.
Now, you have a person to call “home”. You protect each other together while making sure your present and future are secure.
This is the essential part, as it deals with those nasty domestic questions like, who will do the laundry or why should I be the one to do laundry. Your role will help you navigate these questions. Instead of thinking his/her way, think of our approach. You are creating a life together, which means anything you do is for the betterment of you two. So, after the roles are defined, chances are there will be days when those roles aren’t followed appropriately, that’s when you remind yourself that you two are in this “together!
Your finances matter as much as anything. You can’t live a life without money, can you? (Maybe if you go living like Mowgli or Tarzan in jungles, but I don’t think you would like that much!)
So, managing your finances will become a “priority”, maybe not a topmost one but a priority. You don’t hide your financial details from each other. What is there is for both of you to know and then collectively manage.
Trust is the first level or base of the marriage; you both should be able to trust each other no matter what. To build up trust, people generally, tell their secrets to each other. Telling secrets is just average, but you should not get confused between secrets and personal space, this is where the trust plays its game. Give each other time to open up and respect each other’s own space.
Even though things change after marriage, it’s not a bad thing. There’s always going to be a clash when two people are involved and voice their opinions out. How you manage and handle it is up to you.
I hope you make the right decisions and understand marriage is no child’s play, but it could be playful if you both understand yourself and what you want.
Until next time, have a great day!
Updated On19 April, 2021
Updated On19 April, 2021
Updated On30 June, 2020
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